Deep Fried Everything

Jul 14, 2024

This edition has got it all:

The Ballad of Jalen Brunson
A $300 million movie trailer
Breakdancing shoes
The dying days of the breastaurant
Cardiac danger at the Texas State Fair

That and much more, this week on Sunday Bunch (cue the theme music)…

🏀 Knicks' Jalen Brunson accepts $156.5M, $113M less than '25 deal

Brunson agreed to a four-year extension with the Knicks that leaves $37 million over the next three years on the table (Woj has a good breakdown of the financials), giving his team considerably more salary cap flexibility than any other star has thus far been willing to offer.

A lot of dudes talk about really wanting to win. One just threw down the black card where his mouth is.

🏎️ Brad Pitt Car Race Movie F1 Drops its First Teaser Trailer

It was a big week for big, expensive movie trailers. We got Gladiator II (!!!) and Captain America (meh), but as cool as the rhinos and Denzel in the Gladiator trailer are…$300 million worth of fast cars, Jerry Bruckheimer, Brad Pitt driving at 200mph, F1 looks pretty rad:

Whether or not it’s any good, it will be awesome on IMAX.

The film–directed by Joseph Kosinski (Top Gun: Maverick)–was produced with extensive involvement and support from F1, perhaps the most by any pro sports organization for a scripted, non-documentary film. Watch for that to become a trend if this one succeeds.

One question: this is an all-time crazy do-your-own-stunt movie, with the director of Maverick, and F1 drivers are supposed to be small kings. How does Tom Cruise not wind up in this role? Not complaining, just asking.

👟 Nike Is Killing the App for Its $350 Self-Tying Sneakers

It was a rough week for Nike and I don’t need to throw another “here’s what Nike’s struggles taught me about B2B software” thinkpost on the fire.

I do feel for the dude who bought Nike’s Adapt BB shoes and found out he can’t lace up with his phone anymore.

In better Swoosh news…

🤸🏻‍♂️ Check Out Nike's Olympic-Ready Breakdancing Shoe

With breaking becoming an official Olympic sport at Paris 2024, Nike is getting ready to drop its first breakdancing shoe–the Nike Jam–on July 26 on the SNKRS app.

Added bonus: you don’t tie these with an app.

🏈 NFL Moves Toward Allowing Private Equity into Ownership Groups

Owners get some liquidity while realizing massive gains, a new class of slightly less rich dudes get to tell their next wife they own a sliver of the Bengals.

🏔️ The new Paramount logo is the fleece vest of entertainment logos

🤖 All you really need to know about AI

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🦉 The decline and fall of Hooters

The thing about Hooters is that you’re compromised the moment you walk in the door. You’ve come in for some chicken wings, maybe to catch the game on TV. But there are loads of places that serve these needs. By choosing Hooters you’re confessing: I want all of these things, with cleavage on the side.

🎰 Gambling Enters the Family Zone

Dave & Busters is going to become a gateway drug to gambling addiction. Welcome to the age of Skee Ball and Pop-A-Shot parlays.

🔫 Vending machines for ammunition have hit grocery stores across the south

Kiosks are back with a vengeance. Just as the founding fathers intended.

🌳 Texas Has Basically Legalized Marijuana. We Have the Proof.

I’ve told some of you in person: the weed situation in Austin and across Texas right now is hilarious, in a Dr. Strangelove sort of way. It’s illegal, but we have dispensaries all over and you can even buy prerolls next to the Zyns at the Kwik-E-Mart.

Russell Gold’s story for Texas Monthly explains how we got here, and does some lab work to see what’s really going on (spoiler: it might not all be on the up-and-up).

If you’re like me you might even notice some parallels to the VW diesel scandal, swapping Passats’ emission levels for Granddaddy Purple’s cannabinoid levels.

TL;DR: Life and drug dealers find a way.

🍔 Whataburger is an essential service here in Texas

In all seriousness, I hope everyone and their loved ones in and around Beryl’s path are alright and able to be at home with power, or at least someplace safe and dry with functioning A/C.

The State Fair of Texas is still two months away, but a critical part of the preparation is already underway: picking the new foods for 2024.

We’re down to 25 semifinalists across sweet and savory categories.

In my bracket, I have these two in the Championship:

🥞 Hot Chick-in-Pancake Poppers

Nashville hot chicken and pimento cheese mixture rolled into a ball, dunked into pancake batter, and fried, drizzled with Sriracha honey and Nashville hot powdered sugar.

💣 Texas Fried Burnt End Bombs

Beef burnt ends wrapped with shredded potato, bacon, and green onion mixture and fried, with raspberry chipotle barbeque sauce.

While we wait for the 2024 finalist announcement on August 10, let’s look back at standouts from last year’s State Fair. Think of it as ‘One Shining Moment’ but for Big Tex and arterial blockage.

Fried Texas BBQ Shotgun Shells

Made with slow-smoked, shredded, Texas BBQ beef brisket, melted, gooey Velveeta®, and cream cheese, seasoned with Meat Church Texas Sugar Rub®, then rolled in a pasta sheet, wrapped up in hickory smoked bacon, and rolled in jalapeño breadcrumbs.

Deep Fried Sushi Bombs

Sushi rice is generously topped with imitation crab meat and perfectly seasoned salmon for a quick bake. The sushi bake is then rolled in panko breadcrumbs and deep-fried until golden brown and served with a side of seaweed and Yum Yum dipping sauce.

The Butcher’s Block

If you want ALL THE MEATS, then this is the bowl for you! Start off with three-cheese macaroni and cheese, then pile on the good stuff! Topped with 15-hour smoked brisket, crispy fried chicken, candied bacon bits, jalapeño peppers, and a piece of sausage on the side. The macaroni is then drizzled with a brown sugar chipotle sauce that adds a bit of sweetness and a tad bit of spice!

Fruity Pebble Pickle

A delicious, whole dill pickle wrapped in every kid’s favorite fun snack. A Fruit Roll-Up® and Fruit by the Foot®, drizzled in sugar syrup and coated in one of the most popular cereals in the world, Fruity Pebbles®. This is then drizzled again with strawberry snow cone syrup.

Deep Fried Candy Pecan Bacon Bread Pudding

The bread pudding is tossed in a perfect blend of cinnamon sugar and candy pecans, which find their home nestled next to crispy chopped bacon. It is topped with a New Orleans praline sauce that perfectly ties together these sweet and savory flavors. Lastly, a touch of salted caramel bourbon sauce is added that creates an explosion of flavor.

Cotton Candy Rita

Starting with a cotton candy-pink sugar-rimmed cup with the perfect amount of ice, a cotton candy-infused margarita is then added and topped off with a dollop of fresh cotton candy.

Fried Fireball Shot

The fluffy, airy, melt-in-your-mouth sweetness of angel food cake meets the red-hot and fiery cinnamon flavor of Fireball® Cinnamon malt liquor.

Thank you for reading. I hope you have a great rest of the weekend.

Cheers,
BUNCH